This morning, I woke up full of enthusiasm. I woke up feeling sunny and happy and so I decided to check on my Facebook account, as usual. Little did I know, that it would ruin my day. 

When I checked my account, my News Feed was filled with a handful of "Congratulations" and "Likes". And being curious of what was going on, I decided to click on it and it led me to my Secret's account. I was dumbfounded by what I saw, it's like my heart skipped a bit when I saw what was written on his wall. 

"Secret is in a relationship with Someone"

God, I didn't know what to do. I was heart-broken and I felt so saaaaaaaaaaaaad. I wanted the earth to swallow me that instant. :(

I've only been gone for four months, and I open my facebook account one day and I see that. It's two weeks before our Sem Break starts, I am (was) excited to see him, but now, I don't think I am. 

I just wish I didn't log in. Then I wouldn't have seen that. <//3

Officially a KLEPTO baby

KLEPTOSPIROSIS

My Kleptospirosis souvineer photo! =)))

I just love my org! =)))

First year. First college org. First Superman Shirt.

HAHA! :D

I'm just so happy! And I'm pretty sure that this will be one of my most treasured photos of all time. ♥

Here with my klepto family. =))

i ♥ U mediartrix!

Debate for Finals

My professor in Filipino just announced that we wouldn't have our Final written exam anymore, but instead, we will have DEBATE! =)))) Oh, and it's 60% of the FINALS GRADE! O_O I prefer this much more than the ususal exams, because ion this case, students will have the chance to express one's views and opinions and insights about a certain topic. 

I am so thrilled! It's like note-taking and book-reading would be unimportant anymore because it wouldn't even matter this time! YEAHYEAH! =))) No more books! :D 

When I hear about Debate, I always remember my good friend, Anna Parcia. She's a debater, everyone knows about that. A pretty good one, actually. And I guess she's the person I have to talk to in this matter. Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddddddddd. I have to do better here. DEBATE. More thoughts, more words. I just hope I don't mess this up. Knowing myself, I know that if I get nervous, I forget everything. Or worse, I stutter and I go blank, and as a result, I fail.

But in this case, I can't afford to lose or to fail, or to go blank. Because I would surely drag my beautiful grades down. :"( And at this point in time, that's the last thing I'd ever want to happen to me. 

FINALS:

Responsibilities are piling up. It gets worse everytime. O_O

Chemistry Exams, Filipino Speech, Filipino Debate, English AVP Talk show, Math Assignments and Quizzes, Fitness Practical Test. GAHHHHD???! Kill Me! Kill Me Now! :"""""""((((((

LUTANG na LUTANG! :< Help me God! :((

Ang magic ng Kwentong Chalk in Bob Ong :)

As much as i want to write something sensible and exciting, i can't seem to think about any topic worth reading.

i guess i'm just bored and disappointed with twitter, because now it won't open. :( i'm just frustrated. So now i guess i should spend time with blogging first. =))

i think i should just share my experience in writing my filipino finals paper, my talumpati. you see, instead of having our final exams as a written one, our prof decided that it could just be an oral speech or a debate. and so, i was "forced" to make my own speech to be shared with the class in no less than two weeks. at first, i was completely blank. i was totally out of ideas that i thought of the dumbest and lamest ideas that a writer could ever think of.  i even thought about writing something about love, but then, in case i forget what i'm supposed to say in front, i wouldn't be able to cover for it because honestly, i don't know anything about love. :(( sad, isn't it?

then i thought of writing about family, but then again, i thought that it might bore my audience and i might be able to put them to sleep. and honestly, that would be the last thing that i would want, considering that it might affect my grades and all. (i'm sorry if i sound so grade-conscious, but i can't help it. my life depends on this paper.)

and so, to gain inspiration, i decided to read my copy of bob ong's book, abnkkbsnplako?!. i know that it's kinda foolish to read books like that when i was supposed to be doing my fil paper. but i just needed time to think and inspiration. so yeah, i did read the book and it took me 1 hour and 20 minutes to finish that. =)))

it's so funny that i started laughing alone at the room,  very much like a retard. and like a miracle, (whoa!) an idea popped into my mind. i needed to write a speech that would address people my age, and i needed a topic that would make everyone relate to it. and what's better to be a topic than education, itself! you know, being a student and going through high school and all. i'm sure my listeners would be able to relate to it perfectly. but since it may turn out to be a bore, (i know, coz i get bored with thoughts about education too) i need to present my speech in a lively manner. it should be presented in a manner that would interest people so they could pay attention to me. that's where my new problem comes. you see, i'm not really the person who liked to talk with crowds. i don't do so well with them that i start to panic and hyperventilate whenever i talk to a group. :(

i wanted to be confident in front, but i just can't seem to find enough courage to be one. like, when i step in front and try to talk, the next thing i knew i'm staring at the floor. just like what i did during our sophomore year elocution. i knew i memorized the piece, but i wasn't able to deliver it well because... i was shy?? nah. i don't know. but as i remember it, i kept rolling my sleeves like an idiot in front of my classmates. >:(( i looked so stupid. that's why never again would i do that. i'll try so hard to do better than best this time, now that i'm in college. i can't afford to mess up again. 

help! i think i need a public speaker to tutor me. hoho :)

basta, i'm gonna do better this time. i'll try to remember that eye contact is important and that if ever i forget, (please, no!!!) i should not let others know it. 

oh, god. i think i better start practicing in front of the mirror. i sure don't wanna end up in the "EPif fail" list of the class. 

wish me luck! <3 =))))

Real friends leave footsteps behind

I've never really got too many friends. Well, I do, but I never really knew who were true and who were just playing the part. But what I know is that, they all became a big part of me. That without them, I wouldn't be able to realize and discover the real ME.

Let me introduce you to some of the best people who helped me all those years. =))

Ace, Pau, and Kayne have been, and will always be, one of the best.

Childhood friends will always be the most remarkable, especially when you've shared all the most awkward and most random things together - biking under the scorching heat of the sun or under the freezing rain, catching little fireflies during the night, and laughing our heads off on random times of the day. :))

Sophomore Year buddies - Dora, Zyrah, and Grace Ann. :))

This is the first and last picture that we are complete. 

I just wonder why we never thought of taking a picture together before. =)) 

Junior Year is the best of my Highschool years.

And it's because of these people. :)

from L-R: Joanna, Charlene, Mia, Queen, Alyssa, Alfea, Kim, Franzly, Anna, Liway, Tricia, Gracie,and Lehms.

Although me and my closest friends in third year got separated into different sections, Senior Year was never dull or boring. And it's because of my CARDS buddies, here.

Eyps, Justine, and Sarah took the boredom off the last year and made it into something "interesting". Hoho :")

I thought everything would be different when I enter College. But I guess, not much has changed except for the fact that my friends and I are 10 hours away from each other.

 -___-

But it's okay. These people have kept me company for the past three months. My College Buddies, from L-R: Andrea, Jhem, Angela, Ira, Janna, and Roqsan.

"Real friends are not the ones who came into your life when everything was perfect. They were the ones who came through the storm and never left your side."

Through good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forever more. That's what friends are for. 

Heartbreaker

No, I’m not talking about any boy in particular. In fact, I’m not even talking about a person. i'm talking about the "toxic" subject, chemistry 101.

i don't even remember how chem got this hard. back in high school, i bothered less about this subject. but when i reached college, it felt like hell. =((

you see, yesterday i got my preliminary exam results. i passed, yeah. but the score's low. i know it's hard and all, and I've studied this subject for like, days. but sad to say, i just got a 2.75 for it. :( 

it's funny when during lectures, i'm like, "oh, it's easy. i can do that." but during quizzes and exams, i'm like, "what the?! did she even teach that?!" and that's the time when i start hitting the panic button until i result to mental-block.

mental block + panic = Low score

i wish i did well in chem, knowing that it's five units and all. and it's also a pre-requisite for the organic chem and anatomy-physiology in the second sem. sounds tough? believe me, it is. 

but despite the fact that i'm dreading over my chemistry grades, i also saw a beaming light in the dark when my teacher accidentally sent us the grades of the other blocks. and most of their scores are ranging from 72.4 - 83.8. and i'm like, "really? yes!" not that i'm happy with the low scored of the other block, it's just that i'm happy that there is a possibility that i will be taken in for the next year! there is a biiiiiiiig possibility that i will pass the cut-off. =)))

apparently, that's what keeps me going. that's what keeps me motivated to work hard for the grade. you see, back in high school, i never really cared about my grades. I'm like the, "what goes around comes around" kind of girl. it was until i entered college and enrolled in nursing that i started giving a damn. 

current state of mind: panicking. hyper-ventilating. heavy-breathing. nervous for tomorrow's lab con. O_O

right now, i've been hitting the books every night. participating in class discussions. being active in org meetings. trying to recite almost everyday. this is so not me in h.s! in fact, i was the total opposite. :D college has really brought change in me.

I love you Readers!

This morning, while I was browsing through my blog, I suddenly came across the "Audience" tab. ( Sorry, if I didn't know I have this. You see, I changed my interface. :)) ) I found out that my blog has reached readers from Germany, Malaysia, and the United States! :D This really made my day, that it turned out quite well. =))

I wasn't really expecting that I have readers from all over the globe. :)) But of course, I would like to thank my beloved Filipino readers for taking time to actually read my posts, although sometimes they're (my posts, not my readers!) a bit on the nonsense, what-are-you-talking-about side. HAHA :D

Again, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! =)))

♥ ♥ Every word feels like a shooting star ♥ ♥

Terrified by Katharine McPhee ft. Zachary Levi

This song gave me the goosebumps! It's not a newly-released song at all, and I knew this even before. It's just that the music video was so awesome that I can't help but to watch it OVER and OVER again. =))

Its lyrics are so awesome too! I'm definitely adding this one in my Music Player :>

In fact, this made my day. :)

I don't even know how they do it, but Katharine McPhee's vocals and Zachary Levi's charm really made this worth the time. You see, I'm supposed to be reviewing my notes for our Titration Experiment on Monday. But when I saw this on Youtube, I can't resist watching it anymore. I guess their chemistry together as singers made this as AWESOME as it is. =))

I am definitely on the look-out for more Levi and McPhee songs! :D Keep 'em coming guys! =)))

LYRICS:

You by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world full wrong you're the thing that's right
Finally made it through the lonely to the other side

You said it again my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark,
And I'm in love and I'm terrified.
For the first time in the last time
In my only life.

This could be good
It's already better than last
And love is worse than knowing
You're holding back
I could be all that you needed
If you let me try

You said it again my hearts in motion
Every word feels like a shooting start
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love and I'm terrified
For the first time in the last time
in my only

I only said it cause i mean it
I only mean cause it's true
So don't you doubt what i've been dreaming
Cause it fills me up and holds me close
Whenever i'm without you


You said it again my hearts in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love and I'm terrified
For the first time in the last time
In my only life

♥ ♥ ♥ I LOVE ZACHARY LEVI! ♥ ♥ ♥

Hopelessly In-Love

Hopelessly in-love, that’s the very first thing that comes to my mind whenever I hear her name. =)) This is what Anna looks like in my own perspective.

Anna as a sister

We may not be biological sisters, but who cares; we still treat each other as one. It’ feels awkward that I talk about her this way, giving her praises and paying tribute to her like she’s going away or something, but the thing is, I just miss this dear friend. =(( 

I became close friends with Anna way back in third year, and since then, it’s like life at school has gotten better because I knew that she’s always there to make me laugh. One of my most remarkable memories I had with her, is that we always sing our voices out, no matter how bad it is. We sound like frogs, yes, but the funny thing is that we still believe that it's beautiful, even when in reality, we know that it's not. :D I also remember her as the friend who was too conscious of her body. Often, she would ask me, "Matabaon na talaga ako?" And she would always say that she "promise" to lose weight. But I don't think she ever did lose one. Don't you think so too? :)) Anna has this certain way of making you laugh. Mostly because she fails to deliver her joke in the proper way. She would always FAIL her punchlines, and that's the time where we all laugh our heads off. Anna was always the "awkward" person in the group. You see, she's always the that-awkward-moment-when-you're-telling-a-story-and-you-realize-no-one's-listening-so-you-just-shut-up girl. At times, she's even the last person who gets the joke. But what's good about Ms. Parcia is that she's like a big encyclopedia of love quotes. Her Group Messages are full of witty quotes that she made herself, or got from books and from movies. She would bombard you with an endless thread of quotes that it would be impossible for you to not even relate with at least one of them. :)

The thing is, Anna treats people like family. She gives off a certain warmth that would make you feel at ease with her in an instant. Although one must be wary when Anna starts to talk, because it's crazy how talkative she could be. ;)

Anna as a debater

I've never met another person so dedicated and so passionate about her club as Anna. She's very much "in-love" with her craft that it can actually make or break her mood. In fact, when she's not busy talking to friends or doodling little hearts at the back of her notebooks, we would always see her writing a very long paragraph on a piece of paper. And when we would ask her what it was, she would say, "Defense ko atyan sa debate." This is the time when she would actually be "serious" and put her focus on that paper and we knew that this was the time to "leave her alone". 

Her devotion in Debate (I know this coz she always writes "I LOVE DEBATE" anywhere!) makes us realize how one could be so successful if she puts her mind and heart to it, and Anna is one big example of that. Indeed, her commitment to Debate has brought her far, excelling in her chosen field. And I always knew that she would make it big someday. 

Anna as a classmate

The following are real testimonies of some of Annabel's classmates regarding her as a person.

= Fat. Joke. :D Mataray ang mata. - Tricia

= Taba. Haha - Danelle

= Mabuot mang ngaya daa. - Kim

= Magaling Magdebate. - Rosemarie

= Hyperactive. Awesome Debater. - Wynona

= FATTY GIRL. - Joanna

= Cute, smart, and friendly. One of my classmates nung second year and di ko makakalimutan. Magaling siya sa Debate and magaling mag-english. - Jackie A.

= Madaldal. HAHA - Sha

= Hopeless Romantic FOREVER! - Alfea

= Anna is a sweet girl, kind, smart and very outspoken. She knows when to talk and when not to talk. She is a good debater as well. She is a woman of knowledge. - Diody

= BIG EARS - Byen

= ANNA: my gossip girl friend. - Eiyra

= Book-lover - Kathlin

= Cyte, Friendly, Goodlooking. - Arlee

= Jollibee! HAHA - Bern

= Sweet and Friendly. - Kia

= Anna Parcia? The debater? The gossip girl? The girl future fashion writer? The talkative gal? And the FUTURE Mrs. A.C.? Yup! This girl has everything! She's strong, beautiful, smart, and confident. Uhh. What more can I say? Haha. Don't ever change Anna! I love you just the way you are =))) Syeaaa. Happy 17th Birthday! - Bon

= Singkit ang eyes niya. - Karen

= Jolly and Kind and Hahaha - Haly

Anna as a dedicated student

Anna is the perfect candidate for the Model Student of the Year award. No, I'm not being sarcastic or whatnot. I'm actually serious about this. I'm not even talking about her Transcript of Records grades. I'm just talking about how serious she is when it comes to her studies. She may not have the highest grades in class, but she always strives to be one. She always tries to give the best in her Acads, and at the same time juggling her time with IDC and her social life, as well. 

I remember her saying this back in third year, "Ano na yan! Patalon talaga ko sa Chem!" When at times she would put herself down, she would never settle with it and counter those words with, "Ay inda. Okay lang yan. Maadal na lang daw ko next time!" That's just one of the reasons why I love Anapest. She never let failures drag her down, and instead, she makes it as an inspiration to move forward to to keep on reaching for her dreams. 

Anna as a fashion enthusiast

Anna was always the girl who never tried to fit in the crowd. She allowed the real her shine through and stood out from the rest through her Fashion. Her choice of clothes defined who she is and who she wants to be in the future. Oftentimes, she would tell me that she looks up to Audrey Hepburn as a fashion icon, and I can't agree more to that. =)) 

I remember Anna's costume during the 2009 Halloween Party. The Lady Bug costume, remember that? She designed it by herself! Explains Anna's fashion prowess. And her Prom Dress? I bet she designed that herself too. =))

Anna as a fan

A total Taylor Swift fan, I can't think of anyone who can memorize all of her songs in just one shot. Anna's been a Swifty since like, forever. I remember back in High School when she would G.M. lyrics from T.S's songs that would strike her most like, "Please don't be in love with someone else. Please don't have somebody waiting on you." and " I just wanna show, she don't even know you. She's never gonna love you like I want to." which we all know, pertains to a particular person that she's been crushing on since, let's say, forever? (wink! wink!) HAHAHAHA :D

And once again, she's crushing on Blair Waldorf, not Leighton Meester. She mentioned this in one of her blog posts in thesweeteranna.blogspot.com. She said that she's in love with Leighton Meester's character in the hit show Gossip Girl. And it looks like Anna's becoming B.W. already (with all the fancy headbands and preppy clothes). But instead of living like the scandalous life of the Upper East Sider, she's become the one behind it all, she's become the Gossip Girl. =)))

Anna as the girl who believes in Fairy Tales

While her body matured into a beautiful, young lady, the child in Anna never did fade. The Disney Princess in her stayed through even when she went through High School and eventually, went to College. She may have matured a little, but she's still the same old China who believed in Damsels in distress, Happy Endings, and her very own Prince Charming.

She remained to be the sweet person who believed that someday, her prince will come and sweep her off her feet. She remained to be the person who was in love with love. She still related her experiences with Taylor Swift's heart-breaking songs and sang it with all her heart in front of the mirror while holding on to a hairbrush. HAHA :D

I guess this all boils down to one thing: that WE love you, Anna because you remain true to yourself. If you don't end up with the boy of your dreams, it's okay. Juts remember that there are tons of people behind your back, giving you a push every time you need one, cheering you on to be the best that you can be. =))

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY 

ANNA PATRICIA DASAL PARCIA! =)))

WE LOVE YOU

FOREVER AND ALWAYS! =))) <3 

What these letters meant to me

Well, I just wanna write right now. I'm not really inspired to write something. I mean, I'm just doing this because I feel like doing so. You know, for the sake of blogging. Awhile ago, I'm really getting bored and I am kinda getting bored with tumblr, seeing the same posts everyday. So I decided that maybe I should return to my first blog, Thisismeonlybetter. 

I actually can't think of a decent subject right now, maybe because I'm still "lutang" from my Prelims results. It's good, alright. But I wasn't really happy about my Chem and my Math, although all the other subjects remained with a 1.75 average. 

Okay, so I'm not here to talk about my grades. I am here to get inspiration and take the load off me. Just chillin' and reminiscing about everything under the sun. And so, unknowingly, I saw these pictures and decided to upload them and maybe, I could start my nest blog entry from there. Just writing about the significance of these letters to me. And apparently, they are, and will always be, a part of me. 

A is for Aprille. HAHA

That was dumb. It looks like I'm narcissistic for some reason. Nah, kidding. Actually, A is the first name of my long lost friend. We were childhood friends and neighbors. And in fact, we are relatives. His mom is my cousin, alright. But enough of the "family tree" thing. :D

Back when I was a child, (sorry of its kinda sentimental) I belonged to a group of 9 people. A group of bike-riding, firefly-catching, endless-talking, ice candy-eating kids who always saw each other every single day. But among that 9 kids, I was closest to these three people. A is the goofy one, he's a lot like Mr. Bean. :D He never failed to make us laugh, and it seemed like when he's not around, the gang's not complete. =)) I remember we even had to fetch him in his room just to get him to come with us. 

But then, one sad summer day, he broke the news that he's leaving. :"(( That was one of the worst days of my life. I was devastated. He said that he's leaving for Canada, and he doesn't know when he's coming back. Or if he's coming back at all. I felt sad, of course. He was one of my bestfriends, and I can't afford to lose him. But then again, there's Facebook and Twitter. And from time to time, we make an effort to contact him and ask how he's doing there. Just to let him know that he can come back anytime and find that his friends are always here for him. =))

B stands for my childhood friend.

As much as I want to put his name here, I can't. 

Honestly, I'm not even sure if he knows anything about this, so I might be spilling this for the first time here. Honestly, I haven't seen him in years. It's been 5 years already and I don't have any news about his whereabouts now. But what I know is that he's already in Canada, with the whole family.

(Why do they all go to Canada anyway?)

All those years, I've been trying to find some means to contact him.

Through Facebook, Skype, Twitter, MySpace, Tagged, Formspring, and all others. But it looks like luck isn't on my side. :( But it's okay. I think he'll come home one day soon. 

Okay. So let me tell you how we became friends.

He was my friend's/neighbor's cousin.

I was close friends with his cousin because they'd been staying there for a long time already.

So when he moved to stay there by 4th grade, we became friends. Not to mention, his younger brother is my brother's classmate too. Isn't it a great coincidence that our brothers are buddies? =)) Must be fate then. HAHA :D 

We used to play the San Pedro game at our house along with other friends. And during blackouts, we'd all go outside the house, sit on the streets of the village like we we're on some sort of a campfire, and share stories until our parents tell us to come home already. Those were the best days of my life, just as carefree as a little child and not having to worry  about anything but what's at the moment. 

I also remember how I always wake up early during Sundays to get dresses to go to church and hear his voice. You see, he was a member of the school choir, so it was an excuse to see him and play with him after mass. :D 

But during 6th grade, his mom came for him to bring him to Canada to study. 

I didn't know that he was leaving for good, then. And so I hid myself from him. I even told my brother to tell him that I was out just so he couldn't see me. If only I knew that he wasn't coming back until after a few years, I would've shown myself to him.

Okay. So that's one of the my "should-haves".

But that's okay now. No hard feelings.

I've moved on. :))

N is for NNNN. =))
I met him during 6th grade, just after B left.
He transferred at our neighborhood along with his whole family.
He was still nice to people then, but when he met the other people in our village, he changed. He became this annoying little skunk that would really break my day. >:|


I remember him teasing me all the time about my teeth. 
And I would always get annoyed and irritated, but I never confronted him for that. I tried to keep my cool, but I really wanted to tell him, "Hey, what ever happened to the boy who used to have good, clean fun? What happened to the boy who was nice to me, to the boy who never stepped on another person just to look cool?" I wanted to tell him that, but I didn't. I guess I didn't have the guts at all. 


But all the while, I liked him just that. A lot of people would say he looked like Sam Concepcion. I refuse to believe! Hahaha And I'm not trying to say that he looks better, because I know that Sam C. look 10 times better than him. :D But now, he's not an airhead anymore. I think he's gone back to the person I knew before, the person who brought a Carne Norte can during a supposed-to-be picnic. Hahaha :D 

The last time I saw him was an hour before I left for Manila last Aug. 29, 2011. I really thought that I wasn't going to see him at all, because I was out with my friends all day, but I did! That was a great surprised, but he was with his mom though. =))

You know what? I'm gonna let you out on a little secret. It came across my mind to ask him to be my date to the prom. But as usual, I am a coward, and so I didn't ask him at all. -____- And I ended up going with my friend's neighbor. It wasn't that bad, but it would've been better if I had the guts to ask him. 

Again, another addition to my "should-have" list."

L is for Mr. Engineering. <3

He's my orgmate.

As of now, I don't know anything about him at all.

Not even his surname. :|

What I know is that he's number 23 in his P.E. Class.

HAHA :D

How do I know? Well because it's written in his P.E. uniform, that's why.  

So his surname must be from C-E, if I'm not mistaken.

But all I know now is that I'm motivated to attend org meetings everytime with the hope that he's also there. :)

I would've told you a lot about letter M and letter J. but sad to say, I can't find those letters in the Alphabet Garden. So I guess, that's off. :( Maybe next time, if I find people or if I get inspired again, I'll write more. =))

SEE YA WHEN I SEE YA! :D

What Inspired Me Today.

A guy-friend letter.

Ibibigay ko sana sa kanya ng last day ng exam along with the gift na gustong gusto niya. Kaso, nawalan na ako ng gana... :|

To my dearest _______, The Guy Who's Always Been There

I hope that by the time you're reading this, you're probably staying in your quiet room listening to silence...or having milk and cookies maybe? Nahh.. just kidding. I hope that what is contained within this letter will only be of confidence between you, me and the paper as others might misinterpret.

Naalala ko pa noong first year natin. My first impression of you was of a concieted type na never sumagi sa isip kong magiging kaibigan ko. Pero I was wrong dahil hindi ko akalain na opposite pala ang mangyayari....

It's been months since you gave me - - , the stuff toy you gave me and yeah, I kinda named him after your initial since I can't think of any other names and so that I won't forget who gave him to me. I'll always treasure him. I wanted to express this letter in my own handwriting but I doubt that you would understand what I've scribbled. Believe me, it took me great effort writing a dedication on the last gift I gave you. Anyway so here I am.... just gonna type all these things in here.

Consider this as my Thank-you letter and a Maybe-this-is-gonna-be-the-last-time-that-we'd-talk letter. I never thought that we'd end up conjuring a light of friendship that will be brillantly lit. Always hope that this light will always stay illuminated even though this will most probably be wilted by circumstances and time.. although... I hope that wouldn't happen. I'll always remember you _____ as one of the people who showed great concern whenever I get into trouble.

Anyway, enough with the formalities...

Hindi ko kasi masabing "keep in touch" not unless you make yourself keep-in-touchable.

So kahit papaano I hope that when you find someone na malimit din maaksidente.. masasabi mo, "may friend akong ganyan.. " and as for me, if I ever find someone na lagi ding andun para sakin kapag naaksidente ako (which I think is hard to find kasi sobrang rare yung mga tulad mo..)

I'll also say na "Para kang yung friend ko dati..". In that way, at least.. through that person.. lagi kitang maalala. Pero walang papalit sa isang special person na tulad mo...

All these times, I've always wanted to say....

1)Thank you for being an ACTUAL friend.

2)Thank you for listening to the stories I've been telling you.... even if I've been telling those same stories for almost a zillion times already.

3) Thank you for being there when my eye got caught with the chili peppers... I appreciated your great concern

4) Thank you for AT LEAST being there and told me what happened when those two got drunk and my mom went ballistic.

5) Thank you that..for ALWAYS listening to MY SIDE of the story.

6) Thank you for being there when I lost consciousness because all I ever wanted that time was to get that additional points for volunteering.

7) Thank you for listening all about my "crush" stories even though all along it has been... JOKE. Kala mo ikaw noh? Hahaha :D

8) Thank you for being my 17th rose. I almost made you my 18th but my mom wanted HIM to be it. Although think about it, you can always add 1 to 17 and make it 18 right? Who says it's always supposed to be logical?

9) Thank you for laughing at my jokes even though they're so corny.

10) Thank you for that time...when all I wanted was a "thank you" and you gave me a hug. I'll consider that as your gift to me last Valentine's Day.

I never thought it would be this hard to compose a letter. I started this two months ago and all it got me was 'til here.

Remember, that I'll always be your Ms. APG . Thank you for changing one aspect of me.

And that is.. I learned to start caring for others when I saw how you cared for me. I will surely miss your hugs. Setting our real ages aside, you made me feel that I had a big brother by my side... because I never had one.

ITO YUNG IDADAGDAG KO SANA (pero di ko gagawin or magagawa):

I admit that somewhere along the way... I may have developed a sort of 'weird' feeling towards you.. Many people call it "love" and I never thought I'd felt that way, not until you told me that you're liking this certain girl... na sa iba ko pa nalaman kung sino... and hindi ko alam kung bakit... pero...nalito ako nung mga panahon na iyon.

At di ko alam kung bakit pero kumirot yung puso ko talaga... at dun ko narealize na gusto na pala kita... That time, we both were acting casually towards each other...

Even though you were unconsciously breaking my heart... pero, wala naman akong karaptang masaktan dahil wala naman akong karapatan sa puso mo..

Did you know that I cried because of you?

Pero Sabi nila, hindi daw dapat pinagaaksayahan ng panahon at luha ang mga taong hindi worth it at walang kwenta...

Pero hindi ka isa sa mga "walang kwenta" sa buhay ko...

kasi, importante ka sa akin because YOU ARE and always be kahit papaano, MY FRIEND...

Remember that you'll always have this place in my heart.

And kahit masakit, mas pipiliin ko ang friendship natin...

Tandaan mo na para ka lang si Clark Kent, at ako ang Chloe Sullivan ng buhay mo.

Hindi man maging tayo.. I'll always be a friend.

Very Truly yours,

Ms. APG

I was so inspired by this letter that I read at the UST Love Stories page at Facebook. :) I wish she had just given this letter to that boy. By then, he would've known what she really felt and she wouldn't be hurting like this. But it's also brave of her to choose to keep their friendship, rather than risk what they have for something that is unsure, given the fact the her bestfriend likes another girl. But come to think of it, by the way the girl described how the boy cared for her when she needed someone, when he was there during her toughest trials, when he agreed to be her 17th rose, when he never got tired of listening to her endless thread of stories and corny jokes, it can be implied that the guy likes her too, only that like her, he chose to keep his feelings for the sake of their friendship. Awwww. :(( I guess they both liked each other from the very start, but were only too scared that their friendship might be compromised. If only she told him what she really felt, this story wouldn't have ended with an ungiven letter. :((

One word: SAD! :((((