Goodbyes are never easy.

Yes, this is me now. I'm in a bigger city, talking to new people, interacting with unfamiliar faces.

During my first few days of my stay here in the dormitory, I cried the whole time. I felt alone and unhappy, and I felt like I wasn't ready for this new phase in my life. There was even a time when I regretted that I ever wished to be away from my family. I was like, "Why the hell did I even wish for this to happen?" When I told my parents that I wanted to study here in Manila, I was only thinking of all the fun that I could have. I was thinking about freedom, the fact that I would have my own account, all the money I could spend, and that nobody would ever nag me here. I guess I thought that this is the only way that I could rid my self of my mom's constant nagging. But it was until now that i realized that my it was a very unlikely and harsh way of my mom showing her love for me. I was tired of the constant reminders. I was tired of telling me what to do, what to bring, who to be with, and being away from home is the only way that I could get away.

When my dad left me here, he said that it was for the best. He told me that I need to be here, for my own sake. "Four years isn't so long. We'll see each other again. Don't worry." That was what he said. Those words hit me, and it hit me hard. After all, how could I not worry when I'm 10 hours away from the home that loved me, from my comfort zone, from the home that made me feel secured and loved. Those words from my dad were like the keys to my tear gates. When he said those words, I started to cry uncontrollably. I just can't stop and I don't want to let go. It was like i can't accept the fact that my dad was leaving me here, in the company of unknown people that i don't trust.

For the past few days, i kept crying like a baby, and the only one that can stop me from wailing are my parents. Every time I would see something that remind me of how it used to be back home, my tears would flow. I felt like every inch of me is screaming, "I want to go home!" But I can't, I just can't.

I guess my parents' encouragements are what keeps me going. i keep telling myself, "I can't FAIL. I don't want to FAIL." For me, the last thing that I want to happen to me is failing. I'm scared of failure. If I fail, I'm not only disappointing myself, but also my family. i don't want them to regret their decision to send me here. I don't want them to think that they don't matter, because I'm wasting their trust.

I guess I had SEPARATION ANXIETY. :(

When I left Naga City, I was not only saying goodbye to my family, but also to my beloved friends. The people who kept me company when I felt alone, they accepted me when I felt like an outcast, they encouraged me when I felt unsure, and they loved me when I felt hated. I'm glad and lucky that i met these people. I know for a fact that only some of us are gifted with nurturing friends who lift you up and not bring you down. Most of the time I would miss these people, and i'm glad that they distance never became a barrier that would separate us all. When time allows it, we still catch up on each other's lives and ask how is it back there. And when i come home, I know that we've got lots of time and lots of things to catch up on each other's lives.

I would always remember:

Faye Sales, my bestfriend for life. I've been friends with this girl for like, forever. And even though I pick on her all the time, she never gets tired of understanding me. I thank her for that.

Alfea Bermido, my ultimate kachikahan. Whether its on the phone, online, or personal, we never seem to run out of words to say. She's my singing partner and my shouting partner when it comes to Justin Bieber. And I'd always remember her that way.

Angelica Lehman, my Cheezburger.com buddy. Her house is always our head quarters. Every week we'd always be there, doing all sorts of random, stupid things, and viewing stupid videos and pictures on some heinous website. We TWEET each other too. hahaha. :))

Alyssa Imperial, my confidant. It is with her that I share my deepest, darkest, secret. We call each other Beb, and that's one thing that will never fade.

Anna Parcia, our resident gossip girl. I don't know how she does it, but she's on the rage about what's hot inside the campus. And for one time or two, she's almost got beaten up for spreading the news. Haha. I'll never forget the time when she trusted me her crush back in third year.

Liway Escober, never failed to make me laugh with her corny and green jokes. And she's mature enough to be treated like an elder sister. haha.

Lenny Espano, the silent killer. I said "killer" because she's the type who doesn't talk a lot, one who just sits on a corner reading a book. But when she's serious and you pick on her, she'd turn into a whole new person you never thought she could be. Believe me, I know.

Joanna Gagalac, the dual personality. I mean this in a good way. She plays basketball and yet she wears boots. She slips into a pretty dress and wears a HUGE backpack. Think of all the opposites, she's got it all.

Queen Yap, my PPP (prom partner provider). I guess I never told her how thankful I am that she was my friend. Thank god I have Queen. Although I never really liked my partner in a special way, unlike my other friends, I'm still thankful I have one. And that's because of her.

Franzly Alfaro, my ultimate frenemy. We fight a lot and we always talk back. We scream at each other and yet we treat each other like sisters. I miss my frenemy now.

Gracie Bacsa, the Maria Clara. She's like someone from the past. Someone who's the total opposite of her cousin, my frenemy. She's a good friend and all.

Charlene Martin, the funny face. When I see her on pictures, she always distorts her face. She makes all sorts of silly faces, unlike other girls who always try to look good in front of the camera. I admire her for that.

Mia San Buenaventura, the listener. The listener because she likes, if not loves, to let other people share stories to her. I never shared my problems with her, though. But I think one day I will, since she likes stories anyway. And did I mention her name? Pretty tiring, though.

Kim dela Cruz, the newbie.I only got to talk to her much during the first few days of Senior year, and during those time she told me about her budding something with someone named A.H.

Tricia Senar, the friend. As simple as that, she's just my friend. I never got to talk to her that much because we don't have anything to talk about anyway. She's best friends with Joanna Gagalac, that's all.

Sheena Demadura, is in a relationship. Among us, she's the only one who has a boyfriend. Although it opposes our legacy as the group of Singles, it doesn't change the fact that she's still our friend.

Jobel Reciproco, my long distance friend. I miss this guy so much. I hope he comes back soon. :(

My friends, they are the best. :D And I love them all for that. <3