Heartbreaker

No, I’m not talking about any boy in particular. In fact, I’m not even talking about a person. i'm talking about the "toxic" subject, chemistry 101.

i don't even remember how chem got this hard. back in high school, i bothered less about this subject. but when i reached college, it felt like hell. =((

you see, yesterday i got my preliminary exam results. i passed, yeah. but the score's low. i know it's hard and all, and I've studied this subject for like, days. but sad to say, i just got a 2.75 for it. :( 

it's funny when during lectures, i'm like, "oh, it's easy. i can do that." but during quizzes and exams, i'm like, "what the?! did she even teach that?!" and that's the time when i start hitting the panic button until i result to mental-block.

mental block + panic = Low score

i wish i did well in chem, knowing that it's five units and all. and it's also a pre-requisite for the organic chem and anatomy-physiology in the second sem. sounds tough? believe me, it is. 

but despite the fact that i'm dreading over my chemistry grades, i also saw a beaming light in the dark when my teacher accidentally sent us the grades of the other blocks. and most of their scores are ranging from 72.4 - 83.8. and i'm like, "really? yes!" not that i'm happy with the low scored of the other block, it's just that i'm happy that there is a possibility that i will be taken in for the next year! there is a biiiiiiiig possibility that i will pass the cut-off. =)))

apparently, that's what keeps me going. that's what keeps me motivated to work hard for the grade. you see, back in high school, i never really cared about my grades. I'm like the, "what goes around comes around" kind of girl. it was until i entered college and enrolled in nursing that i started giving a damn. 

current state of mind: panicking. hyper-ventilating. heavy-breathing. nervous for tomorrow's lab con. O_O

right now, i've been hitting the books every night. participating in class discussions. being active in org meetings. trying to recite almost everyday. this is so not me in h.s! in fact, i was the total opposite. :D college has really brought change in me.